Influences of Media

The other day, me and Eugene were having lunch at Old town at the lake, (my tummy was demanding some wantan noodles.) then le wild chick shows up and asks us if we would do a survey for her assignment. She was in Communications or something of the sort.

And in her survey were all these really deep (to me anyway) questions, most of them revolving around how much the media affects the choices you make. (social life, music, sex life, fashion) Now, I didn't really have a lot of time to ponder about those questions right then and there (mainly because the chick was hovering over my wantan noodles to get her survey back) so I just said 'maybe' to everything.

But it's really interesting though. Just how much of the choices we make in life are actually influenced by the media? By media, I'm assuming TV, radio, the internet, etc. (I doubt a lot of people my age actually read the newspaper. I read newspaper articles, but only when people post them on Facebook. Heh.) I'm guessing it all boils down to whether you're going to follow the stream or not. But now, it's considered cool if you go against what's mainstream. (Nowadays, these people are called hipsters. In case anyone didn't know. Click on this link to find out more about hipsters!) I don't consider myself a hipster. Even though I shop at thrift stores and buy second-hand clothes at bazaars, (this is partially because I'm constantly broke and I believe in recycling because I'm a hippie like that) I sport a shaggy hobo-like hair cut, (only because it takes too effing long to do my hair in the morning and also because I'm too stingy to pay someone to cut my hair. Yes, I cut my own hair. Shut up.) I occasionally wear plastic rimmed glasses, (but only because I'm partially blind and I can't wear my contacts all the time. And also because quality Ray Ban plastic rims are lighter and more durable than the metal wire ones. I step on mine a lot. And they come in all shapes and colors too!) I am currently pursuing a degree in Graphic Design, (but in my defense, I've been in the Arts stream since I was 16 long before I found out about these hipsters) I listen to indie music, (mainly because I think there are a lot of talented people out there who are being under-appreciated) and I only date guys outside my race.

Oh god. Maybe I am a hipster.

Damn it.

But still. I'm not entirely convinced it was the media that influenced me to become this way. I think it's the people I hang out with. Or used to hang out with. Forgive me, I went to community college with other left-wing liberals. I also used to date an uber-hipster for a large portion of my college life. Who was also a left-wing liberal. Huh.

Trolling like a boss!

So, me, Vandy and Eugene (Lynz would have been there but she was seduced by the sandman and getting her snooze on.) went out on a day of trolling. We were supposed to go to the zoo and give our free shrugs but it was raining. (Boooo...)

Then, we just decided to go to Timesquare and eat! We went to this awesome steamboat restaurant where we discussed how we were going to spend the day trolling random people. It was oodles and oodles of fun!

Life: Money vs Friends & Family

So, I had a very interesting conversation last night with the guy I'm seeing. He's in business management. (I know, what the hell am I doing hanging around boring business dudes, right?) And I can see an obvious difference in the views of life between us. He's more of a career-orientated person where he strives to reach the top of the ladder, and is aware of the sacrifices he needs to make (in terms of spending time with his family and friends) in order to get to that level. In his defense, he has the idea that providing his future family (meaning his wife and kids) with lots of money and opportunities are essential to their happiness. (Sigh.. Asians are nuts)

But I personally believe that being on top (of the career-ladder) doesn't necessarily guarantee a happy life. Yes, you'll have money and success, but you can't take all that to the grave. (Actually you can't take anything to the grave that might actually be useful when you're deadsies.) When I die, I want people to remember me for who I am. Not what I have achieved. I would much rather not become a slave to the world. I want people to miss me for the way I have influenced their lives, and for being a big part of their lives. I don't want to be an important person in the world. I want to be an important person in the lives of those who are important to me.

Sooo... If you were to ever give me the option of working late for the advancement of my career, or going home early to have a romantic dinner with my man, that would be a no-brainer. (Unless of course, I had nothing else going for me and I turned out to be a pathetic cat lady. Which is not that far from my life now.)

Cat lady in training.

Fiction vs Truth

Fiction. Versus. The truth. Everyone is in on this. Everybody is fake to some extent. Whether it trying to look nice. Or just trying to be nice without actually giving a flying hoot about that person. Everyone is guilty.

I believe people are naturally fake. From the make up, to the push up bras, to wearing clothes you can't really afford. To just being a plain douche.

Everybody is fake!

Dreams.

Dreams are pretty cool. I feel that it's amazing that we can dream. What are dreams, anyway? It's just like a state of mind where you feel like you're somewhere else.

I love having dreams. Even bad ones. I dream a lot! It's come to the point where most of the time I do realize that I'm dreaming. One tell-tale sign is when things start falling off me. Like my teeth. Or my hair. That happens a lot in my dreams. The dream interpreters tell me this is because I'm anxious and worried a lot of the time. I'm scared of the future. But then again, who isn't?

I think it's not the future we're scared of but more of the unknown. It's like death. I think the only reason we're afraid of death is because we don't know anything about it. We don't really know what happens to us when we die. I know a lot of religions say we'll go to heaven or hell or a train station. But no one really knows for sure, do they? It's all based on faith. And I believe faith is a beautiful thing to have. I wish I had more. But there is so much cruelty in the world.

Riiiiight.. So out of topic right now.

So, yeah. I dream a lot. Most of my dreams are really bizarre. I once had a dream that I was getting high with my parents, 'That 70s show' style. And believe me, if y'all knew my parents, you'd know that's a bizarre thing to happen. But of course, I didn't know it was a dream at the time, so it was pretty freaky. I do have lucid dreams though. Where I know that I'm currently dreaming. But for some reason I'm still never able to control them even when I know it's a dream. Like I said, I usually suspect it's a dream when my teeth start falling out. And that happens A LOT!

I know a friend who actually found out how to make lucid dreams. It's kind of dangerous, I guess, because you never know how you'll react to it. It's like taking a bunch of aspirin with a load of Red Bull. The aspirin thins your blood and the Red bull pumps it faster. Wicked, huh? Never tried it. Kinda scared I might die. But apparently, my friend did try making lucid dreams by taking muscle relaxants with nicorette. The muscle relaxants make you sleepy and the nicorette keeps you awake. So you're awake but you're asleep. Heh.. Try it!

Hope y'all don't die :)

Map my world!

I actually have absolutely no idea what this topic is supposed to be about. Map your world? As in, literally mapping out? Or just planning? Or places I've been?

What?

Planning, I guess? Let's do that.

Ok, so at this point in my life, I'm actually satisfied with where I am. I'm studying in the field that I've always been passionate about since I could even remember. I remember being in love with art since the first grade. I even remember my art teacher. He had a long name like Artemis or something weird like that. But he had us all call him Mr. Art just for the sake of not complicating things. (Obviously, since we were 6 at the time.) He was awesome. He reminded me of those cool art show hosts with the jovial, funny attitude and weird caterpillar mustache.

So yeah. I am satisfied with where my life is going. I used to be really upset with the way my life was before. Just because I felt like I didn't have a lot of direction. I was just bouncing around, not really knowing what I was doing at the time. And then, I took a well deserved break and went around touring Europe to see all the amazing art destinations. Like the Mona Lisa and the Nike of Samothrace in the Lourve, Botticelli's Primavera and Birth of Venus at the Uffizi Gallery, Picasso's Guernica in Madrid, the friggin Sistine Chapel!!!! I crossed off a lot of things on my bucket list.

When I got back, it was decided. I was going back to school to rediscover my passion.

......interruption..

So apparently. This is all wrong, Map your world means the way you see the world when you step out of your door. Well, that was a waste of half an hour wasn't it?? I was bearing my soul!

Ah well..

The way I see the world is actually pretty straightforward. Occasionally, I do daydream while I'm out and about. But usually, I daydream about me being damsel in distress and a certain man in my life coming to save me. Sometimes, I even die in my daydreams. I usually die in a very violent manner in my mind. Either being stabbed or shot in a robbery. I just want someone I love to be sad when I die. Even if only initially. God, that sounds really narcissistic.

I also have really weird flashes of violent situations. Like when I'm waiting for the train, I have a sudden flash in my mind where someone pushes me in front of a moving train. And also, when I'm holding a knife (usually this is in the kitchen) and someone is in the room with me, I have sudden flashes in my mind where I would plunge the knife into the other person. And stab them to death.

......Don't worry, I talked to my shrink about it. (not really a shrink, but more of a close friend who is studying psychology.) I'm ok, it just means I'm afraid of violence.

Or not. *insert evil laugh*

Fetishes!

This is a weird topic to be blogging about. But then again in my dictionary, weird means awesome.

So, fetishes!

To me, a fetish is kind of like an obsession. I know it doesn't necessarily mean sexual obsession but, when a person says fetish, that's usually what comes to mind. Maybe that's just me.

Personally, I don't have any fetishes of my own. I mean, I like to keep a healthy lifestyle and not have any particular obsessions. Obsessions and fetishes usually imply an unbalanced lifestyle. And balance means a lot to me in my life. And besides, I feel like my sexual habits are a tad personal to be blogging about... I'm a prude like that. (not really, haha)

Although, at different intervals in my life, I have been known to be obsessed with a few things before. Like when I first started out in college, I was just being exposed to the delicate art of painting. This was when I discovered the many many different characteristics of the paint brush. There are different sizes; huge to minuscule, then different shapes; mop, filbert, flat, angle, round, etc. Then of course, the different materials it's made of; boar, squirrel, horse, synthetic.. and one of my most treasured ones was made of camel hair! That was an especially rewarding find :)

You know what? I think that is the only obsession I've been known to have. Huh.. Regardless, obsessions can be good sometimes, I guess. At least you're passionate about something. Which makes you an interesting person. I think it's such a shame when I meet someone who is just plain boring.

I hate boring people.

I'm more into people who are weird or eccentric. Which brings us to our next topic, eccentricity! Being eccentric to me just means being a little bit extraordinary or different. Perhaps quirky or weird. which is actually what I like to described myself as. I mean, I don't just suddenly decide that I am. People just tell me that I'm weird and I guess that's what makes me.. me!

Like this one time.... in band camp..  Haha.. no, it was summer camp. I used to be in Girl Scouts, and I went to this summer camp when I was 9 years old in Ohio, US. So we were staying in these little wooden cabins and this one night, a bat got in the cabin and everybody just started freaking out and screaming and running everywhere. And I would just stand there and say, "but... I like bats."

Then, people started thinking I was weird. I tried to fight my eccentricity all throughout my schooling days, and just try to fit in with people. But alas, after leaving school, I decided I had to be true to myself. Now, I've come to terms with my weirdness and I'm proud of that :)